I don’t want to be obedient and tame.
Coddled like a cat. Faithful like a dog.
With a belly up to my teeth, hands in the dough,
Face covered with flour, my heart a cinder,
And his hand on my ass.
I don’t want to be a welcome flag at his door,
Nor the guardian snake under his threshold,
Neither the snake nor Eve from Genesis.
I don’t want to pace between the door and the
To listen hard and be able to distinguish
Footsteps from night-sounds.
I don’t want to follow the leaden movement of the
Nor see falling stars
For him to gore me drunkenly like an elephant.
I don’t want to be sewn with needlepoint
To the family portrait
Next to the fireplace with balled up children,
In the garden with puppy children,
And I the shade tree,
And I the winter landscape,
A statue under the snow.
In a crease marriage certificate
I’ll fly to heaven.
I don’t want a bridegroom.
I want gray hair, a hump and a basket
To go roaming in the woods,
Picking strawberries and dry twigs,
With my whole life behind me,
The smile of that boy,
So dear and irreplaceable.
Translated by Charles Simic