When I was a kid they’d tell me:

don’t get close to the dog ‘cause it’ll bite you;

don’t get close to the cat ‘cause it’ll scratch you;

don’t get close to the cow ‘cause it’ll hurt you;

don’t get close to the horse ‘cause it’ll kick you!

 

Then I grew up,

the dog didn’t bite me;

the cat didn’t scratch me;

the cow didn’t hurt me;

the horse didn’t kick me.

 

But one day, as I wrapped my wounds, I muttered:

why didn’t anyone tell me “don’t get close to people”?